5 Ways to Build Partnership with Your Child’s School Team

If you are a parent of a child with special needs, you know that navigating the special education system can be extremely challenging, confusing, and exhausting.  You often have more questions than answers and may feel that the only way you can get anywhere is to fight the good fight.

With my own personal experiences in mind and the countless other families that I have been fortunate to share stories with, I have come to the conclusion that partnership between parents and educators is the key ingredient to the success of ALL students. Building partnership must be a priority.

Educational partnership is when two or more persons come together to work collaboratively to ensure the needs of individual students and/or groups of students are met and the student can be successful. Each party in the partnership has an equal role in participating, and has the ability to collaborate to make decisions with an end goal in mind. When individuals or groups come to the table with their own agendas, partnerships are more difficult, if not impossible, to form.

5 Key Ingredients to Successful Partnership

1.   Establish a process in which to engage in open communication. Open communication is free flowing, transparent dialogue that is shared between two or more people. All parties recognize that the thoughts that may be shared may be positive or negative. However, these thoughts must be delivered in a non-threatening, solution oriented way in order to avoid conflict. 

Communication can occur in many forms.  Establishing how often and in what format a parent and an educator will communicate is a good starting point.  Parents need to know they can reach out to the teacher at any time, and teachers need to know that they can approach parents openly with their thoughts, observations, ideas and concerns.

2.   Recognize each other’s individual differences as an opportunity to learn and grow, not as a threat. We all know individual differences is what makes the world go round.  We wouldn’t want to be carbon copies of one another. How boring!  It is easy to come to the table with an assumption about someone or something because of what we have heard.  Challenges may arise due to varying schedules, culture, values, and priorities.  

While we may not always agree with the person we are partnering with, we need to come to the table with an open mind.  We must be willing to consider other people’s perspectives as their experiences and knowledge may just offer us that missing link.

3.   Build each other up, don’t tear each other down. Demonstrate respect for one another. Being respectful means always being polite, being an active listener, and showing kindness to one another.  Positive relationships lead to successful partnerships, even when conflict does arise.  Assuming things or laying blame can stop partnership in its tracks.

4.   Mutual acknowledgement. Acknowledging your team members for a job well done, or offering thanks for the unexpected builds stronger relationships.  Both parents and teachers will feel more appreciated if the contributions they make are noticed (even the things they attempt in good faith but fail). Send a note, leave a quick voice message or email.  It doesn’t have to be fancy to be effective. 

5.  Work together to determine shared goals. If you have goals you have a path.  Trouble is, if partners have separate goals, success is a lot more difficult to achieve. Goals for a school year can run deeper than academics.  Parents and teachers need to talk to one another and establish priorities together. When people feel like equal participants in building the plan they are asked to participate in, they are more likely to be accountable to their role.

While building partnership does not occur over night, keeping these 5 tips in mind will get you to a good start.  Even if your part of a team right now that isn’t making much headway, consider choosing at least one of these things to implement to help you get back on track.  The special education system is complex.  Having partnerships are an asset in helping to influence student success.

Back to School Tips

It is hard to believe it is almost that time again! Where did the summer go?  Some of you may already be back to school, but here in Ontario school goes in right after Labour Day!  Are YOU ready for back to school?

Back to school time often brings on stress and anxiety for families. Kids can begin to display symptoms of anxiety just at the thought of heading back to the classroom.  However, it is not just kids that experience this stress.  Parents and caregivers are often feeling overwhelmed when gearing up to another "potentially" challenging school year.

So how can you prepare for back to school and reduce, if not beat, that stress all together?  Here are ten tips that will help you ease in to another school year.

1. Stay positive! OK, you might be thinking "Ya right!", but let me explain.  I am a firm believer that your thoughts often become reality.  If your thoughts heading into the school year are negative, if all you expect is for bad things to happen, all that will happen will be less than positive things. That's all you will notice and you will be in the zone of "See, I told you so." Trust me, I speak from experience.  I am not going to pretend that every part of heading back to school will be easy, but mindset is everything. Put it out there to the universe that your child is going to have a great year and you are going to help make a positive difference in their transition. Not only will this ease your own stress, but it will impact your child's belief system and attitudes as well.  They take their cue from us, so don't get caught in the negativity trap.

2. Don't ask your child if they are looking forward to going back to school if you know the answer is going to be "no".  Get them thinking about school by making comments like "I bet it will be great to see Sally when school starts". If you do ask questions, keep them positive.  Ask them in a way that will have them reflecting on the good aspects of school and deflect comments that might bring up the less positive emotions.

3. Start to ease in to new routines 7-10 days before school goes back in.  If you start too soon, your child will resent you.  However, you know your child best so if you need to start sooner, then by all means do so.  When possible have your child collaborate with you on setting up a school day routine from wake-up to bedtime that works for everyone.  They are more likely to compromise with you than follow through on something that is imposed on them without any discussion. Partner with your child on a plan for the day.  The truth is parents don't always know best.  I have learned this the hard way!

4. Create a family calendar and avoid over scheduling.  I suggest you colour code your calendar into blocks so you can see how time is being spent.  Something new I am going to try this year is to colour block in some me time!  Yes ME! As a parent you have to look after yourself because only then can you be best prepared to look after others! Schedule in your ME time when your calendar is being prepared!  Block off that time for yourself before the calendar gets so filled up there just isn't any place for it. Make sure the kiddo's also have their own "Me" time.  This will help them learn to respect your needs if you respect theirs.

5. Gather supplies for a homework box!  Homework is a stressful time and the worst thing that often happens is when kids are unable to find that pencil, eraser or hole punch when they need it.  Reduce the amount of stress in your home by keeping a well stocked box and replenish the supplies as needed.

6. Purge the bedroom!  Clean out those closets and desk drawers.  Out with the old (only if it's of no use or no longer fits) and get prepared to bring in the new.  Do this before you back to school shop to help you stick to your budget!  Too often we buy more than we need or find out we already have things at home and didn't need to replace them.

7. For parents of students with special needs, pull out last years I.E.P. and start reviewing it.  It will take your child's new teacher some time to get to know your child each school year, but it won't be long before you will need to connect with them to get the ball rolling in terms of any accommodations or modifications your child may need. Make sure all of your child's medical information is up to date, and identify any "must shares" for that first day of school. Feel free to send a brief note to your child's teacher to introduce yourself, share important information and open up the lines of communication for dialogue throughout the school year.

8.  If your child is anxious about school, provide reassurance and generate some mutually agreed upon coping strategies.  Listen to your child's concerns, but be leary of any assumptions you or child may make about a particular situation.  So often problems escalate before the facts are even uncovered and can set the tone for the rest of the school year.

9. Have your kids help you generate some meal plans to ensure both a healthy breakfast and a healthy lunch throughout the school day. A good start to the day can not be underestimated! Kids are more likely to become involved in the meal preparation if they have contributed to the grocery list.

10.  Ensure everyone in the home is getting adequate sleep.  Nothing contributes to stress and anxiety more than a lack of sleep.  The average elementary child requires 10 - 12 hours of sleep a day (Web MD, 2014).  Of course this will vary from child to child but it is a good guideline.

Do you have a #backtoschool tip?  I invite you to share below!



References

WebMD,. (2014). How Much Sleep Do Children Need?. Retrieved 27 August 2015, from http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/sleep-children?page=2

What's your MIM?

In my very first post this year, I was inspired to write about "goal setting".  One of the tips that I shared in that blog post was how important prioritizing is when one truly wants to accomplish things and achieve their goals.  I talked about juggling balls, and that how one step in leading an accomplished life was choosing which ball needs your attention and when. Sounds simple right? You can be a juggler, no problem!

Fast forward to this week. I am participating in the #TwoWeekTweak with Adrienne Dorison, entrepreneurial business coach and author of the podcast The School of Self-Mastery. Now like all great things, I stumbled upon this challenge by accident, yet it is proving to be extremely beneficial and actually quite fun. Adrienne is teaching people, many who are entrepreneurs, key strategies to make you more successful in both your personal and professional life.  Now I feel it is important to mention that just because I blog about goal setting I do not feel I am an expert.  I still have many moments and even days, that despite my growth mindset and my ability to achieve most of what I aspire to, I struggle with feel "accomplished".  So Adrienne's offer to run the #TwoWeekTweak could not have come at a better time for me.

Interestingly, one of the things that Adrienne taught us this week was all about MIM's. MIM's are the most important missions of the day or week.  The further you break them down, the more likely you are to achieve results. Adrienne taught us that identifying your MIM's for each day is an important step to accomplishing your goals.  Goals need action steps and action steps require just that, ACTION!  Choosing your MIM does not have to be difficult, but forces you to focus on the steps that will get you to your goal and increase your personal accountability.

I thought about MIM's and soon realized that my MIM's were the "balls" that I had highlighted in my former blog post.  So fortunately for me I was not going to be employing a new strategy, but was being reminded of what I already knew and was probably already doing.  Yeah me!  So I am going to continue to identify my balls, but will now call them MIMs.  I love it! The only thing I am going to do is declare them in a more conscious way to keep that action flowing.

 I tweeted my MIM this morning. I figure that public declaration is another step to accountability.

So what is your MIM (Most Important Mission) today?  You can have more than one but try not to overdo it.  What are your top 3?What is a must do to help you accomplish your many tasks and reach your goals?  For more information on the #TwoWeekTweak visit Adrienne's website. We are 6 days into the challenge but the benefits of joining are still waiting for you.  Get tweaking and really focus on living a life of accomplishment.

Life is a Choose Your Own Adventure Story

So often people end up in a mindset of limited possibilities. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon.  We begin to think that there must be more to life, but we just don't know where to go from here.  We consider possibilities but often think they are out of our reach.  The "grass always looks greener on the other side" complex hits us, and instead of spurring us on to bigger and better things, it stabilizes us in a holding pattern. Ironically, this is usually not the pattern we want to be in. In my view, I like to use the analogy of the choose your own adventure story.  In the mindset of limited possibilities, you will simply end up with just that - limited adventure options. There is no doubt.

I've been in this place of the fixed mindset from time to time.  I don't want to say it's chronic for me, but I know I have been there.  It starts with thoughts and comments that begin with things like  "I could never...", "I would find that difficult...", "That's impossible....". My thoughts limit my actions and in turn I am left standing still. Yet, time marches on.

Recently I have read the book "Growth Mindset" by Carol Dweck.  I was inspired to read this book by my very active #PLN on Twitter, and I can definitively say it has opened my eyes to the power of the mindset. Now when you read the book, you are first asked to understand your own mindset by being presented with a few simple statements.  You are to agree or disagree with each. Here are some examples:

"1. Your intelligence is something very basic about you that you can't change very much.

 2. No matter how much intelligence you have, you can always change it quite a bit.

 3. No matter what kind of person you are you can always change it substantially.

 4. You can do things differently, but the important parts of who you are can't really be changed." (Dweck, 2006)

  

Now these are just 4 of the questions provided in the book to help you better evaluate your own mindset.  If you want to read them all, you will have to read the book (hint, hint). Once you think you have determined which mindset you have, the growth mindset or fixed mindset (or maybe a little of both as the author points out), it is important to look at your actions.  Do your daily actions affirm the mindset you identify with?  If not, is that because you need to shift your mindset, or simpler yet, change your actions to suit your current mindset. What is it they say?  Actions speak louder than words?  In that case that same principle can be applied to mindset.

So back to the choose your own adventure... These past few weeks, inspired by my new interest in mindset, I have not only been evaluating my own mindset, but the perceived mindset of others I come across that seem to "have it all".  Now, having it all is probably an exaggeration and likely best left to talk more about in another blog post.  After all, what does "have it all" really mean anyways? However, my recent journey through social media has had me stumbling on so many inspirational educators that are doing so many amazing things. Further to that I have come across some self-made entrepreneurs who are just oozing with passion and success. I found myself wondering what it was about these people that made them appear to have no fear to try things, share things and even cultivate ideas, even movements!  They were clearly successful at whatever they were doing, across various industries and platforms. I wanted to get an understanding of what made them stand out from the others and achieve such success.

After listening to their podcasts, watching several of their videos and reading up on some of their bio's, it soon became crystal clear why these people were so successful in life.  It wasn't because they did not have fear!  Despite their obvious risk taking, they all spoke of not ever being too sure of things at times in their lives. It wasn't because they never failed at something, because many of them talked about their down and out times. They all spoke about the fact that their reality had not always been what they had envisioned for themselves.  What seemed to be fueling their success and influence on others was actually an aha moment of growth mindset and drive to want more! They all visualized what they wanted their life to be, without doubt, and without limits!

My informal research into success through the lens of mindset, has confirmed much, if not all, of what Carol Dweck speaks of in her book.  It has changed the way I view my future. It has changed the way I view the future of my family. Instead of a future with some possibilities, it has become a future of limitless possibilities. If you haven't read the book, I encourage you to do so.  Me... I've read the book. Now I am moving on to maximize what I have learned and live the very best choose your own adventure story I can!

References
Dweck. C. (2006). Mindset the new psychology of success. United States: Ballantyne Books Trade Paperback Edition.

The Power of Twitter

Recently I listened to a podcast I downloaded from Hack Learning with Principal Dan McCabe on developing a growth mindset by Talks with Teachers.  In this podcast Mr. McCabe talks about his own personal growth experiences as an educator, his most challenging moments and his greatest achievements.  Although there were so many highlights to this podcast I could share, the thing that stood out to me the most was Dan’s comments about the power of Twitter for educators.  I have only personally been active on Twitter this past year, and much of what Dan speaks of resonated with me.  Dan does not exaggerate the function Twitter can play as he talks about Twitter’s uniqueness and benefits to not only the educator, but education as a whole. 

My personal journey with Twitter started in 2007.  I wanted to know what all the hype was about so I cautiously created my own account under a “non-identfying” Twitter handle.  What I mean by that is that I created a name to hide behind (just in case things didn’t work out).  I didn’t want people I knew to be able to find me on Twitter. After all what would they think about me? What could I possibly have to say that anyone would care about?  I did lurk on Twitter for a short time there, cautiously followed some people I knew, and even more cautiously posted a handful of tweets.  I was still left wondering what was all the hype about, basically thinking that Twitter was a vast waste of my time. 

Fast forward to the late Spring of 2014.  I can’t recall what drew me back to Twitter, but I began to explore this social media tool once again.  I read a couple of articles to learn about hashtags and lists, and began to really pay attention to what people were posting and how they were posting.  I started to follow organizations of interest, local and global.  I started searching topics of interest and following other users, particularly those related to education.  I became more and more intrigued and amazed by the number of followers some people had.  I equated the number of followers to the importance of the message, which by the way I know now is not always the case.  Even the user with the least amount of followers can inspire me the most and be the next up and coming user to follow. 

Twitter began to have a daily presence in my life.  I recently tweeted...

Now this isn't a plug for technology before caffeine as a way of life, but speaks to the impact Twitter was having on me.  I was being fueled by it's energy on a daily basis. I was finally beginning to understand the impact the information I was accessing, and most importantly the relationships I was developing, were having on my life on both a professional and personal level.  My interactions with @dinamoati and @jenniferetate led to the development and successful implementation of higherEdcamp.  That experience helped me further understand the power of the #PLN (professional learning network) I was developing.  I was inspired daily by tweets from @RusulAlrubail, who later encouraged me to start up my own blog where I could share my own ideas and experiences.  A pretty bold move for a gal who was hiding behind the “non-identifying” Twitter handle.  It was around that time that I decided to change my user handle to reflect my new commitment to learning, sharing and collaborating. 

Today, just over a year later, I am participating in Twitter chats on many topics related to education and learning with podcasts by Greg Curran at Pushing the Edge.  I am reading books such as Mindset by Carol Dweck which is having a profound impact on both my professional practice and my own personal mindset.  I am lurking and learning on #CLMOOC, thanks to @hj_dewaard, a place where educators are encouraging and inspiring each other to create and remediate content.  I have recently been introduced to things such as Hack Learning where I am able to download, read and listen to some very inspiring topics related to education such as assessment and feedback, connecting with students, creating backchannels and much, much more. I am further developing skills in leadership and collaboration.  Most recently I posed a question to my #PLN about the use of discussion boards as a teaching tool.  I was pleasantly surprised to see just how many educators came to join in to the chat, all providing worthy thoughts and suggestions to support my reflections.  It is amazing how just one question can lead to such valuable discussion.  Shortly after that the conversation was later shared on here on Edutopia. It was a privilege for me to be acknowledged in that way.   You can read that conversation here.  All of this is a direct connection to me being open to using Twitter as a learning and sharing tool.

Dan McCabe was right when he said Twitter is a tool that reinvigorates, offers opportunity to consume vast amounts of educational literature and professional development, yet is still under utilized by educators as a whole.  If you haven’t considered Twitter a valuable tool for you both professionally and personally, I encourage you to do so.  It may take some time but with some commitment you will see the value and potential Twitter can offer you as an educator.

The Art of Partnership

During a recent interview with Jameelah Gamble - A Voice For All, I was asked what advice I would give to parents whose children with special needs are transitioning between grades, schools, and systems (elementary to secondary).  I don't recall my exact answer, and I know I did not have the opportunity to say all I could have said given the time constraints. I can tell you it centered around one word - partnership.

I have learned a great deal about partnership over the years, both personally and professionally. I have learned through experience what it is, what it looks like, what it feels like and unfortunately, through some negative experiences, what partnership is not.  Partnership doesn't just happen.  It takes a commitment.

What is partnership?

• requires at least two people but can be an entire organization
• a genuine commitment to one another to achieve an end goal

What does partnership look like?  

• shared ideas and agendas
• mutual respect
• negotiation is evident
• mutual acknowledgement
• non-competitive
• effective communication
• joint leadership

What does partnership feel like?

• energetic
• inspiring
• enlightening
• empowering
• valuable
• equitable
• strength based

What partnership is not?

• jealous
• spiteful
• competitive
• one sided
• vulnerable
• dishonest

Partnership in K-12

With many ugly stories that parents hear about the education system, and more specifically special education, how can a parent not feel apprehensive about a transition from grade to grade, school to school, elementary to secondary or even secondary to college?  Let's face it. There are some troubling stories out there and unfortunately we do tend to focus on the negative despite the fact there are good news stories.  With a transition on the horizon, it is important to remember that both parents and educators have a responsibility to prepare for next year and to start the new school year off on the right foot. 

Here are some tips to help set the stage for partnership between you, your student's education team and your child.

Parents:

• Start early - If you know who your child's teacher will be next year - introduce or re-introduce yourself.  
• Think positively - tell the teacher/s that you are looking forward to working together next year
• Accept that change isn't necessarily bad.  Each teacher is different just as each student is different. Change builds resilience and there just might be a better way to do things.
• Talk positively in front of your child about the change and the people involved.
• Check your own biases at the door - we all come to new situations with past experiences, both positive and negative.  
• Assume the best of your teacher before you jump to conclusions of the worst.
• The 24-hour rule is a rule for a reason.  It does help.
• Inform yourself.
• Attend all meetings.  If one isn't initiated, initiate one yourself.
• Freely share information.
• Ask, ask, ask questions.  Don't stew. Clarify!
• Acknowledge your teacher's effort - the big and the small. 

Educators:

• Believe that parents do know their children and have valuable things to contribute to discussions.
• Read your student's files and I.E.P.
• Don't make assumptions - ask questions.
• Return messages and phone calls promptly.
• If you don't know an answer to a parent's question - no problem.  Ask someone and follow-up. Don't guess.
• Remember there is no room for judgement in partnership. Once judgment is past, partnership is eroded (trust me).
• Model a growth mindset in students and parents.
• Compromise - your solution may not always be the only solution (or even the right solution).
• Reach out - communicate in as many ways as possible.
• Respect confidentiality.
• Use people first language. 
• Acknowledge the student's effort.  Acknowledge the parents contributions.
• Learn something else about the student that is non-academic focused on show an interest in communicating about that topic from time to time.

Partnership, even among the most committed pairs, groups and teams can bring about challenges. However a partnership that starts out on shaky ground, and/or isn't genuine, is quite likely destined to breakdown. Building relationships is key to building partnership and we don't build relationships by tearing each other down. Helen Keller once said "Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much." The key - master the art of partnership.

 
Originally posted on the P.A.L.S. Network Blog on June 9, 2015

Organizing higherEdcamp

When I became a frequent Twitter user, a step beyond major lurking, I had no idea what was in store for me.  I began to follow, retweet, tweet and then repeat, and repeat and repeat.  Before long I was immersed in tweets about topics I was passionate about.  I found it a challenge to make the time to follow all of the fabulous shares that were landing on my homepage.  What an amazing place to learn... and an even better place to find an unexpected professional learning network of people I deemed "follow worthy".

There was one profile that caught my continuous attention with her obvious passion for education, technology and most specifically special education.  Dina Moati and I began to follow one another and shared the occasional direct message.  It was a surprise though when one day Dina messaged me with a proposition... she wanted me to consider being part of an organizing team for higherEDcamp.

Now Edcamps were new to me.  I had never attended an Edcamp. I didn't know anyone who had attended one, nor had I really ever read about one. I asked myself how could I possibly organize one with such limited knowledge and experience?  Although I questioned my fit for the project, Dina's passion and enthusiasm for higherEDcamp was nothing short of contagious.  She quickly put out any of my self-doubt and with pure optimism she was sure higherEDcamp would be a success.  Soon the team began to grow, and although we lost some original members due to personal commitments, the "Team of 3" was born with Jennifer Tate joining the ranks.

My experience organizing higherEDcamp was amazing. Three strangers had come together through Twitter with the goal of putting together an inspirational and memorable day of learning for higherED professors, administrators, students and educators.  At the time we didn't know who would come.  We didn't know where it would be.  We didn't know how we would pay for it, and we didn't know if we would be lucky enough to attract some sponsors.  We just knew we wanted to create a day of innovation and collaboration, utilizing the UNconference format.

Three strangers... one goal!  We lived a distance apart so ALL of our planning was done through Google Hangout. In fact we only met each other in person as a team for the first time the day before the event. We tossed around ideas, we shared resources, and we quickly learned about each other's strengths.  Jennifer had the power of persuasion and took on the task of reaching out to prospective sponsors.  Her creativity brought us the idea of having a "Me to We" loom to create a tapestry to represent the day. As well she created a bowl full of badges for participants to pin to their lanyards to highlight their values and skills related to their teaching.   I took responsibility for helping to generate content for the website, draft the e-blasts, and assist with organizing the volunteers.  Dina had the vision! The end goal was always in site as she had the most experience with Edcamps.  She used her past and recent experiences to help shape our day and committed herself to spreading the news.  She tweeted, emailed and tweeted some more to make sure that higherEDcamp was well promoted.  Her ability to anticipate our needs for the day led us to securing a location and arranging more than enough food for the participants and volunteers.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of the tasks and contributions associated with planning our first ever higherEDcamp.  Should you ever want to organize your own, there are plenty of valuable resources online from the Edcamp Foundation, and resources from those who have organized previous Edcamps. The three of us worked passionately to bring it all together.  When one team member was reluctant or hesitant about something, the others rallied.  We balanced each other out and it showed as our vision became a reality.

The day of higherEDcamp was nothing short of amazing.  After all, I got to experience and organize an edcamp all in one day!  Educators from across Ontario, and even from other provinces, attended higherEDcamp. They shared ideas and resources on a variety of topics, rekindled old friendships, and created new ones. Aside from the success of the day, the most unforgettable part of higherEDcamp for me was how three strangers, all with proclaimed interest and passion in higher education, came together and made something out of nothing.  Dina's words summed it up nicely... it was like a stone soup, a story of pure cooperation. With a little of this, a little of that, a more than a dash of partnership, higherEDcamp was born.

Thank-you team for such a wonderful experience!

For more information about higherEDcamp you can visit our website or follow us on Twitter @higherEDcamp #higheredcamp